Paleo Coffee aka: sexy smackers

I remember the first time I made myself a coffee drink that I could actually stomach.  I was a freshman in college and I made the sickliest mocha.  I was a barista, which was ironic, because I didn’t drink coffee.  There was, seriously, so much chocolate in this drink.  Then my love affair with coffee began.  I didn’t drink it every morning, I didn’t need the caffeine to feel alert.  I certainly never made coffee at home.  As time passed, and my career as a barista continued, I slowly weaned off the flavorings.  First it was to a vanilla latte, then it was a white chocolate mocha.  At one point, I discovered that adding white chocolate powder to an americano was a game changer.  Then one day I went cold turkey and started drinking my coffee black.  Okay, so it wasn’t cold turkey and I was actually forced to drink it that way because I ran out of creamer.


I’ve always said that my favorite meal to go out for is breakfast.  There is something really special about starting your day sipping java with someone.  A chance to catch up.  A chance to cuddle up on the couch and connect.  So many conversations over so many caffeinated drinks.  I always order coffee when I go out for breakfast and until recently, that was the only time I enjoyed a steaming cup o’ joe.  Colin drinks coffee every morning, so it was an adjustment when he starting grinding the beans for me too.  But I went with it, always black, except the few times that I would add some almond milk to cool it down.  I became a creature of habit and before I knew it, I was having a cup almost every morning.

I had heard of paleo coffee over the last few years, but never done much research.  I’d tried paleo in the past, without any guidance, and just following the advice “just eat meat and fats”.  Needless to say, it was not a successful attempt and I was a bit turned off when I wasn’t seeing or feeling the results I had hoped for.  When I joined Crossfit Train last year, I just kept hearing the coach talk about her meals, and watching her move, how strong she was, and the fact that she had just pushed a baby out of her only three (3) months prior that I REALLY wanted to know more.  I’m obsessed with self-improvement books, so I bought every cookbook I saw, I read every article I got my hands on and I started following every paleo icon on Instagram.  She kept talking about the Whole 30 and how we should do it as a group, so I did what any normal person would do.  I went to Target, bought the book, read it cover to cover, followed every Whole 30 Instagram account and signed up for their newsletter.  We started the Whole 30 on February 1st.

I figured this would be the best time to try paleo coffee.  There are so many variations and recipes.  My first attempt was blending coconut oil and cinnamon.  It was delicious until the end of the morning and the end of my cup.  A weird slime had come together in my cup and it was a terrible moment when I attempted to swallow this paleo slime.  I swapped out the cinnamon for ghee on my next attempt, since it’s Whole 30 approved.  I blended one teaspoon of coconut oil and one teaspoon of ghee with one cup of coffee.  It was delicious and also gave my lips a sexy sheen!  BONUS!  I still make this version on occasion, but my go to is a tablespoon of coconut oil on a spoon.  Put the spoon in my coffee cup.  Pour coffee over the cup, stir and enjoy!  It’s not nearly as frothy as when I blend it, but it saves me time in the morning.  I’m debating purchasing a frother this weekend.  Even though I have omitted the cinnamon, mixing the two reminds me of my grandmother’s cinnamon toast.  It’s been magical.


I’m really looking forward to trying other variations of paleo coffee after my Whole 30.  Like this Metabolic Paleo Coffee they serve at Honor Society in Denver, CO.




Due to a Facebook tag of some mutual friends, I saw an ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend on a trip together.  This was a relationship that ended badly.  Like, SO bad.  I’m pretty sure (I know actually) that he hates me and pretty much wishes he had never met me.  We were together off and on for almost three years.  I hurt him and I burned some serious bridges with people while we were together.  Friends were lost.  People were hurt.  Choices were made.  But you know what?  At one point, I loved him.  We were friends.  It was fun and beautiful.  Our time was a time full of so many moments.

The ugly and the beautiful.

I had a lot of dreams when we were together.  Dreams I never pursued.  Dreams I never believed I could do.  Dreams that terrified me.  I was stuck.

I’m not proud of a lot of the choices I made during those three years.  “When you love someone, you don’t hurt them or make them feel awful.”  I remember him telling me that once.  Now, I know your mind is racing with ideas of what happened, so let me say that I never cheated on him.  But I never let him fully love me, and that can be the same thing if not worse.  Truth be told, I never loved myself enough to be strong.  I wish I would have loved myself sooner because then I could have let him go.  I held on so tightly to what we once had that I suffocated the life out of our relationship.  It needed to end.  But it was hard.  It was messy.  It was ugly and beautiful due to its necessity.

Okay, you’re probably like, what the fuck is the point of this story?!  Why are you bringing up a relationship that was SO terrible and ended almost two years ago and what does this have to do with anything!?

So, I have wanted to be in the fitness industry for so many years.  I remember my friend Chris Daly telling me once (okay, a THOUSAND times) that I was an AMAZON WARRIOR PRINCESS and I just needed to realize it for myself.  He is who really planted the seed of endless possibilities and strength inside this strong body of mine.  But I never believed that I was capable.  I was afraid.


Fitness is hard.  Your body is quick to point out your weaknesses and you have to push yourself past the place of fear, and truly believe that you are capable.  It’s a mental game.  I’ve had gym memberships, trained and prepped for fitness competitions, placed in fitness competitions, participated in Zumba and bootcamps.  I’ve had personal trainers and done YouTube workouts.  Oh, and yoga (my nemisis)…and most recenly I found Crossfit.  I LOVE FITNESS.  I love what it teaches me every single day.  It has made me strong and it’s a part of me that I lost in that relationship.  I stopped loving and choosing myself first.

I am choosing to be unstoppable.

During every workout, I am challenged every day to face my fears.  Look my demons in the face and say NO!  My imperfections and weaknesses remind me of what I used to be.  But you know what?  I’m not that girl anymore.  I’m not afraid.  I’m strong. It’s taken me 7 years to get to this place and it is a never ending battle that I refuse to lose.


I have accepted an internship at Crossfit Train.  I start in two weeks.




It happened.

The feeling.


Last night I stayed after work for a Happy Hour meet and greet event.  I had come off of a long 24 hours of traveling and dealing with the loss of someone dear.  I had three glasses of wine and was feeling great.  I mean, wine always makes me feel great.  Until the next morning when my head is pounding.

I got home around 8:30 pm and realized I was starving.  So I did what any normal person who is kinda drunk and dealing with food and body image issues would do.  I ate the rest of the ice cream in the fridge and ordered a pizza.  Okay, okay…I also ordered the parmesan bread bites.

As I sat on my couch, dipping my slices into the garlic butter included in my order, I started to think and be aware of how my body was feeling.   Sure, that pizza was AMAZING.  But I began to feel the grease on my face and fingers, the folds of my stomach over my comfy pants.  I began to realize how sad and weak and alone I felt in that moment but that each bite was filling me with a temporary sense of purpose and comfort.  But then the slice was gone and I was on to the next.

It wasn’t until I spilled the container of garlic butter on one of my throw pillows that I realized I was lost.  I was sad.  I was unhappy.  I had lost my purpose and was no longer celebrating my moments.  I had not had any victories.  I had not set and crushed any goals.  I also realized that my stomach hurt and I had a huge piece of pineapple stuck in my teeth.  It’s cool.  I was eating alone.

I woke up late this morning and I looked at my phone to realize I had 10 minutes to get up and get my ass to my workout.  I made a mini goal to make it because I had made a mini goal to get 4 workouts in this week.  I was 10 minutes late and had to do 40 burpees, but I made it.

I also reached out to a few friends to find support with my recent bout of depression after being assaulted.  But that’s a whole other post.


I stepped on the scale this morning and weighed 153 pounds.

It’s just a number.

It’s.  Just.  A.  Number.

let them eat cake! …just not yet.

The lights go down.  The bikini comes off.  The contest prep is over.

You’ve done it.

You have earned your post competition meal.

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Many people have asked me what I decided to eat after months of meal prep and my final week of tilapia and asparagus.  I wanted a burger.  And sweet potato fries.  And a cocktail.  And a milkshake.  And luckily, I heard all about PARK BURGER in RiNo.

Before I start salivating over my meal, let me take a minute and tell you about the service.  THIS PLACE BLEW MY MIND!  And as someone who works in the restaurant business, that statement doesn’t come easily to me.  I called ahead to make sure that they had everything I was looking for.  The host was thrilled that I wanted to celebrate there and assured me that they would accommodate our large party.  And then, later that night, she actually hugged me when I walked in the door and congratulated me on the show.  When people choose to celebrate your victories with you, even as a stranger, it makes the world a bit brighter.  Just sayin…

Okay…but there BURGERS!  I mean…and their milkshakes!  And don’t get me started on their sweet potato fries.  This praise will have to be cut short, because I literally DO NOT HAVE WORDS!


We are now approaching a week since my show, and while everyone else is thinking that, “Now you can EAT!” “Back to real life!” “Let’s grab a drink!”, I’m starting to panic.  This time is crucial for my metabolism and I’m struggling to get back on track and transition into my normal diet.  Preparation is key and I finally was able to make some time and prep my meals.  It’s only been a few days, but I can see the changes happening to my body RAPIDLY from being off track.  Healthy and smart choices are always necessary.  NO EXCUSES.

I’m not psycho.  And I know that it’s nearly impossible to maintain a show figure year round, but I can’t stress how important it is to stay focused when you set a goal.  Even after you finish it.  Set another one.  And then another.  #alwaysevolving

Thanks for listening.  Any and all of your tips for staying motivated are welcome!  Everyone needs someone, and maybe your words of encouragement will make a difference for someone!

Peace, Love & Protein Pancakes

Team Fit Chick

Aint Life Grand

It’s been a minute.  Life has been crazy!  But when is it not?

The WBFF Denver is tomorrow!

This has been a tough prep.  Between travel, new relationships gained, friendships lost, and $400 worth of prepared food being ruined during a hotel stay…I’m looking forward to all this hard work paying off tomorrow!  It doesn’t feel real, but it’s certainly happening anyway!



Competing with #teamfitchick this year has been a life changing experience for me.  The friendships that have been created are some that I hope will last a lifetime.  Training for a show is isolating, so I would highly recommend competing with a team for your first show, or any show for that matter.  It’s your support system.  And it’s worth is for the group text feed that occurs during peak week alone.


Near and far, I’ve got an amazing support system.  So, special thanks to all my family and friends.

I couldn’t do this without you.