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taytertalks 
Just read your post from a couple weeks ago. Heartbreak sucks. I’ve been on both sides. It’s so hard to see past the novelty of the first part of a relationship .. esp when both people are into it .. which seems so rare in the new space of online dating and easy access to the next first date.
I suffer from anxiety and loneliness myself. I’ve even had a couple nervous breakdowns in simple one on one coffee meetings. .. both with mentors and people I looked up to. Maybe it’s sexist .. but I think admitting it is much harder for a guy.
I’m four years post divorce.. and have done all of the things a single guy would do to fill space and stay entertained. The truth is .. I’m back to the place I was when I got a divorce .. lonely. Wondering if the continued pursuit of myself is maybe what those people in relationships wish for .. the freedom to say ‘fuck it’ whenever I want to. Really though, I know life’s better when you’re a part of something. As cool as solo seems .. it’s not as enjoyable. Where’s the person that I can turn to when I need it? To have the most inside jokes with?
Like you Taylor I too want a partner. The challenge with my situation is I have kids!! Two amazing kids .. and I’m at a space and time in my life when i’d have to start over or jump into something where someone else already had kids. .. but then it’s about the family and so much more challenging there .. and it could never just be about my partner and I.
So.. I have a dog. 😋. .. but even that asshole I don’t let into the bed.
Sorry your relationship didn’t work out. I’ve had a couple I thought were maybe close. One that I got my heart broken on and I’d even job hunted in isreal to try and figure out a way to make that work. .. long story there.
From the outside, you do have an awesome life. You’re beautiful and funny and did I mention ducking hilarious!! I also know where happening behind the curtain is where we spend most of our time.. the thoughts only us hear!! That’s the lonely space. And it would be awesome to diminish that space and open up a door in between.. so someone else can be there with us.
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This totally made me tear up. Thank you for sharing your heart with me.
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