Paleo Coffee aka: sexy smackers

I remember the first time I made myself a coffee drink that I could actually stomach.  I was a freshman in college and I made the sickliest mocha.  I was a barista, which was ironic, because I didn’t drink coffee.  There was, seriously, so much chocolate in this drink.  Then my love affair with coffee began.  I didn’t drink it every morning, I didn’t need the caffeine to feel alert.  I certainly never made coffee at home.  As time passed, and my career as a barista continued, I slowly weaned off the flavorings.  First it was to a vanilla latte, then it was a white chocolate mocha.  At one point, I discovered that adding white chocolate powder to an americano was a game changer.  Then one day I went cold turkey and started drinking my coffee black.  Okay, so it wasn’t cold turkey and I was actually forced to drink it that way because I ran out of creamer.


I’ve always said that my favorite meal to go out for is breakfast.  There is something really special about starting your day sipping java with someone.  A chance to catch up.  A chance to cuddle up on the couch and connect.  So many conversations over so many caffeinated drinks.  I always order coffee when I go out for breakfast and until recently, that was the only time I enjoyed a steaming cup o’ joe.  Colin drinks coffee every morning, so it was an adjustment when he starting grinding the beans for me too.  But I went with it, always black, except the few times that I would add some almond milk to cool it down.  I became a creature of habit and before I knew it, I was having a cup almost every morning.

I had heard of paleo coffee over the last few years, but never done much research.  I’d tried paleo in the past, without any guidance, and just following the advice “just eat meat and fats”.  Needless to say, it was not a successful attempt and I was a bit turned off when I wasn’t seeing or feeling the results I had hoped for.  When I joined Crossfit Train last year, I just kept hearing the coach talk about her meals, and watching her move, how strong she was, and the fact that she had just pushed a baby out of her only three (3) months prior that I REALLY wanted to know more.  I’m obsessed with self-improvement books, so I bought every cookbook I saw, I read every article I got my hands on and I started following every paleo icon on Instagram.  She kept talking about the Whole 30 and how we should do it as a group, so I did what any normal person would do.  I went to Target, bought the book, read it cover to cover, followed every Whole 30 Instagram account and signed up for their newsletter.  We started the Whole 30 on February 1st.

I figured this would be the best time to try paleo coffee.  There are so many variations and recipes.  My first attempt was blending coconut oil and cinnamon.  It was delicious until the end of the morning and the end of my cup.  A weird slime had come together in my cup and it was a terrible moment when I attempted to swallow this paleo slime.  I swapped out the cinnamon for ghee on my next attempt, since it’s Whole 30 approved.  I blended one teaspoon of coconut oil and one teaspoon of ghee with one cup of coffee.  It was delicious and also gave my lips a sexy sheen!  BONUS!  I still make this version on occasion, but my go to is a tablespoon of coconut oil on a spoon.  Put the spoon in my coffee cup.  Pour coffee over the cup, stir and enjoy!  It’s not nearly as frothy as when I blend it, but it saves me time in the morning.  I’m debating purchasing a frother this weekend.  Even though I have omitted the cinnamon, mixing the two reminds me of my grandmother’s cinnamon toast.  It’s been magical.


I’m really looking forward to trying other variations of paleo coffee after my Whole 30.  Like this Metabolic Paleo Coffee they serve at Honor Society in Denver, CO.




Due to a Facebook tag of some mutual friends, I saw an ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend on a trip together.  This was a relationship that ended badly.  Like, SO bad.  I’m pretty sure (I know actually) that he hates me and pretty much wishes he had never met me.  We were together off and on for almost three years.  I hurt him and I burned some serious bridges with people while we were together.  Friends were lost.  People were hurt.  Choices were made.  But you know what?  At one point, I loved him.  We were friends.  It was fun and beautiful.  Our time was a time full of so many moments.

The ugly and the beautiful.

I had a lot of dreams when we were together.  Dreams I never pursued.  Dreams I never believed I could do.  Dreams that terrified me.  I was stuck.

I’m not proud of a lot of the choices I made during those three years.  “When you love someone, you don’t hurt them or make them feel awful.”  I remember him telling me that once.  Now, I know your mind is racing with ideas of what happened, so let me say that I never cheated on him.  But I never let him fully love me, and that can be the same thing if not worse.  Truth be told, I never loved myself enough to be strong.  I wish I would have loved myself sooner because then I could have let him go.  I held on so tightly to what we once had that I suffocated the life out of our relationship.  It needed to end.  But it was hard.  It was messy.  It was ugly and beautiful due to its necessity.

Okay, you’re probably like, what the fuck is the point of this story?!  Why are you bringing up a relationship that was SO terrible and ended almost two years ago and what does this have to do with anything!?

So, I have wanted to be in the fitness industry for so many years.  I remember my friend Chris Daly telling me once (okay, a THOUSAND times) that I was an AMAZON WARRIOR PRINCESS and I just needed to realize it for myself.  He is who really planted the seed of endless possibilities and strength inside this strong body of mine.  But I never believed that I was capable.  I was afraid.


Fitness is hard.  Your body is quick to point out your weaknesses and you have to push yourself past the place of fear, and truly believe that you are capable.  It’s a mental game.  I’ve had gym memberships, trained and prepped for fitness competitions, placed in fitness competitions, participated in Zumba and bootcamps.  I’ve had personal trainers and done YouTube workouts.  Oh, and yoga (my nemisis)…and most recenly I found Crossfit.  I LOVE FITNESS.  I love what it teaches me every single day.  It has made me strong and it’s a part of me that I lost in that relationship.  I stopped loving and choosing myself first.

I am choosing to be unstoppable.

During every workout, I am challenged every day to face my fears.  Look my demons in the face and say NO!  My imperfections and weaknesses remind me of what I used to be.  But you know what?  I’m not that girl anymore.  I’m not afraid.  I’m strong. It’s taken me 7 years to get to this place and it is a never ending battle that I refuse to lose.


I have accepted an internship at Crossfit Train.  I start in two weeks.



So it begins…again

Back in 2012 (if my memory hasn’t failed me), my boyfriend at the time set up a blog for me.  He knew that I wanted a platform to share my journey of self discovery with the world.  I thought it was so cute that he had “heard” me through all of our talks about my life goals, but I never touched the thing.  Not once.

I grew up dreaming about being famous, being heard.

baby tay walking on a ledge

It was as if that was the only thing that would bring significance to my life.  FAME.  It sounds so dirty when you think of it that way.  Significance.  I was certain, at the wise age of 10 years old, that if I just met Devin Sawa or Jonathan Taylor Thomas that they would fall in love with me and I would be set for life.  Looking back, I’m now less surprised as this point that I switched majors in college and studied Theatre Arts.  Always chasing significance and attention.

*Only child alert*

On the Verge

My point of all this is that this blog is not for seeking or attention or significance.  Maybe that’s why it’s taken me all these years to get started (and I’m still figuring out what that’s going to look like). It’s for sharing stories of triumph and failure.  It’s about growth, challenges and discovery.  It’s about goals, love, life, food and family.  It’s about friendship and being there for one another.

I am significant.  We all are.  This is about recognizing all the moments.


This is your time.